The other night I suffered a bit of an emotional breakdown. I was having a text conversation with a good friend of mine. She’s a couple years younger than I, but she’s got her head on her shoulders a few torques tighter. I’ve always looked up to her because of this. Unlike me, she never seems to let her fears get the best of her and she’s always making plans and taking chances to hit the next milestone on her #GOALS list. The breakdown came after I realized how much I missed having her around for support ALL the time, instead of talking to her just now and again because she lives halfway across the country instead of halfway across the city.
During this conversation she asked me to tell her what my dream life looked like. Now, telling people junk like that usually makes me feel a little dumb and a little juvenile, but she insisted that she couldn’t give me any useful advice unless I spilled the daydream. And now, to reinforce this fantasy world of mine, and to appease my friend a bit, I’m going to write it down here as a reference point to keep my goals in my face, and out in the world for you to see so maybe you feel a little less silly for having grandiose dreams like I do.
The Dream JOB:
I’ve never really had the kind of personality that fits well in a standard 9-5 work environment. Even as a kid I kind of knew that I wanted to work for myself, whether it was as an artist or an interior designer or writer or whatever else I wanted to be that week. At this point in my life I have a better understanding of what I’m good at and want a career that focuses on my writing and my painting/drawing. I’m also a hobbyist seamstress, but I haven’t decided if I want that to be a major point of income yet. I think I have some good ideas, and maybe when I start to sew more I’ll fall in love with it again, but for now I want space in my life to sew, but maybe not have that as a life focus. The bottom line is that I want to spend my days writing and painting and having that be my source of income.
The Dream HOME:
When I picture my #GOALS lifestyle, it definitely includes living in a loft. I don’t know what it is about lofts, but I’m kind of in love with them. Honestly, any kind of open concept apartment with lots of big windows and oceans of natural light would be fine by me. Deep down I know I’m not as much of a clutter-fiend as I am now, so I would like a minimalist space, mostly black white and metallics, with luxurious accents like faux-fur rugs and a crystal chandelier. My friend said she and her friend started a Pinterest board in honor of the dream loft/studio they plan on sharing, so I made a Pinterest board for my dream loft (even though Pinterest isn’t my favorite, and not everything I pin will have the perfect aesthetic, but it’s an idea board). The link is HERE for those of you interested in checking out some of the images floating around in my head. In my mind half the space would be my living space and half the space would be more of a studio for my painting and writing and sewing.
The Dream STUDIO:
The best/most productive years of my art life were definitely when I was in college and had a specific space to get painting/sewing done. I know that part of my lack of productivity is due to the fact that I don’t feel like I have a SPECIFIC place to paint or sew in. My apartment is pretty small and because of that I often have to move things around to give myself creative space. It’s a huge pain in the ass and I’m pretty sure if I had a place to go to that was already set up to get work done in, it would be much easier for me to start and FINISH projects. The space of my dreams would include a big, high table for pattern making/fabric cutting because no one likes to bend over too far for hours. I’d love to have an industrial sewing machine and a serger, a nice shelving system to store and easily find fabric and notions, and a cool pegboard or wire board to hang tools and scissors on. I’d want a separate shelving system for all my art supplies, preferably with cubbies/doors to hide away the less attractive items like paint thinner, rags, and drop cloths. I’d probably want to keep my paints in big glass jars (which I kind of do already) because I like to be able to see what I have. I already have a pretty nice H-frame easel, but I would maybe want a bigger easel to do large scale paintings, along with a projector for that kind of work. I’d also want a nice computer with a big screen along with a big scanner and high resolution printer so I could easily scan, edit, and make prints of my artwork. The computer would also be great for writing and editing.
The Dream WARDROBE:
I know the things we keep in are drawers and closets are just superficial, but I’ve always been interested in fashion and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The big goal/dream is to have something of a capsule wardrobe. I already wear the same things all the time anyway. I guess I just want to move to a more fashionable/me version of what I already do as well as cut the fat from my current wardrobe. Most of what I wear is black, and that’s how I want to keep it. I’d like a few more staple pairs of shoes, nice shoes, because I currently just buy a pair of cheap flats to wear to work and replace them when I inevitably wear a hole in the bottom of them. I mostly want a pair of quality black chelsea boots (which I’ve picked out, I’m just saving up at this point) and a pair of statement platform boots. I’m also really trying to stop buying things that are part of the “fast fashion” culture we live in, and I’d honestly like to start making my own clothes, or at least most of them.
I guess this is more the aesthetic of what I’d like my life to look like. My main dream is to be able to support myself without working a regular job, and instead make my money by writing and painting (and maybe making clothes/accessories). I’m working on changing my diet and exercising to reach my physical goals as well as doing what I can to heal my mental health wounds. Though this dream of mine is a bit lofty (lololololol…pun intended), I don’t think it’s impossible, and with a bit of practice and fewer free hours wasted watching youtube, I think I can get there. The sooner the better. ♥︎M